now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
