So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
