tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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