I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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