Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
