I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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