so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
