I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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