ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
