The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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