could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
