She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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