just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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