I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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