it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Barsexuality is the new black.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
