her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
