The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
