The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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