i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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