I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
