I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
