I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Alive.
So much puke
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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