he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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