You're my little dorito
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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