so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
