I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
