She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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