btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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