singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
