are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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