And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
