I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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