the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
