then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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