what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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