im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is Oprah even human
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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