You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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