We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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