Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Everything about him screamed your future.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
