The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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