i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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