Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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