We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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