I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
