Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
