I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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