have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
