Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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