operation harelip BJ is a go
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
