Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
