Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
