My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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