i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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