I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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