the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
