two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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