how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
