I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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