i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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