Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
