i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
