Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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