dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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