Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
