Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
smell my finger.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
