Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
