so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
