You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
