pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
