i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
