Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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