lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
