I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize