Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
