I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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