I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
