ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
